Waking Up at 5AM for 8 Weeks: What the 5AM Club Changed for Me
Our Dreams In Progress
Welcome to my personal space, where I write through change, learning, and healing in real time. Written by a 45-year-old mother of three, learning AI, online systems, and how to stay sane and healthy, one honest step at a time.
Starting Again: Finding Hope Through Atomic Habits and a Fresh Outlook
September 22, 2025
My Journey to $100k
Today feels like a heart opening.
The weekend was tough, a weary crawl of wanting to do so many things but not managing much at all. I carried my laptop back and forth from my office to the living room, trying to be productive while also being with the kids. I wanted so badly to get work done, but it became an endless cycle of distractions. In the end, nothing got accomplished: no work, no workout, not even quality time with the children. Just more social media scrolling with occasional background conversations with them.
By Sunday night, the intrusive thoughts crept in, the ones that whisper about giving up, admitting defeat, and choosing the easier path of retreat. Flight over fight, always. It is a pattern I know too well.
I felt like giving up entirely. I wanted to tell Kristina, “I just want to quit all this work because it’s not working. I haven’t earned a single cent since April, and I’ve already invested so much. It’s just not working.” I felt guilty for giving her all that work with nothing to show for it. That was really me that night, tired, guilty, and ready to walk away. I wondered how many others go through this too, this urge to quit everything and just hide.
That night, I couldn’t bring myself to make my usual reels once the kids were asleep. I was mentally drained and continued doom scrolling late into the evening. I succumbed to being unproductive and just let myself go. Knowing we had a short family trip planned for Monday, I put my energy into packing and preparing instead.
Monday arrived, and we packed everyone into the car. I brought along “Atomic Habits“, a book that had been on my list for ages. My eldest had this copy lying around, but when I asked him what he thought, he just said, “It was ok.” Maybe he is too young to appreciate it fully. I was probably the same at his age, rushing through self-help books just to tick them off a list without really absorbing them.
But yesterday, when I finally started it, the book spoke to me right from the beginning. I felt seen, like it was talking directly to me. It touched on some deep truths I am only beginning to uncover, but already I feel like I am gaining clarity about myself and why I fall into this loop of wanting to quit whenever things get hard.
The trip itself was wonderful. I loved seeing the kids so happy with their cousins. We all stayed together at a resort for one night, and we managed to celebrate my mother-in-law’s birthday with the whole clan. My eldest couldn’t join us due to space in the car, but he had his own plans, so it worked out.
The break was refreshing, not just because of the getaway, but because of that book. I also found relief in forgiving myself for not finishing “Start with Why“. I just couldn’t get through it, and that is okay. Maybe “Atomic Habits” is simply the book I needed at the right time. And this time, I feel truly connected to it, its lessons landing in a way that feels deeply relevant to what I am going through now.
Back at work today, Kristina suggested a pivot. Not a small adjustment, but a big shift that means restarting, redoing, and trying again. More work, more risk, more uncertainty. And yet, her generosity astounds me. Why would someone I barely know invest so much in my success?
She has so much on her plate already, and still she offers this selflessly. I cannot fully understand it, but I know I am blessed. I asked myself, “Why is this relative stranger doing so much for me, so selflessly?” In the end, I am choosing to accept it with grace, help that was meant to find me. My role is to accept it with gratitude and honor it with effort. I should not waste it.
I need to focus more and believe in myself the way she believes in me. So here I am, starting again with a renewed outlook, trying to apply what I am learning from the book, and praying for better days ahead.
This feels like the beginning of something new. I don’t know exactly where it will lead, but I am ready to keep showing up and see what unfolds.
Frequestly Asked Questions
1. How do you stay motivated when you feel like giving up?
A: I remind myself that motivation isn’t always about big wins. Sometimes it starts with small habits, like reading a page of a book or showing up for one task. “Atomic Habits” reminded me that progress builds slowly, but it builds.
2. What is the main lesson from Atomic Habits that helped you restart?
A: The book showed me that small, consistent changes matter more than giant leaps. Instead of aiming for perfection, I am focusing on simple daily habits that bring me closer to where I want to be.
3. How do you handle intrusive thoughts that tell you to quit?
A: I acknowledge them instead of fighting them. Writing about my experience, forgiving myself for unproductive days, and leaning on support from others helps me shift back into action.
4. Can taking a break really help with productivity?
A: Yes, sometimes stepping away is exactly what we need. My short family trip gave me the space to reset, and reading something new gave me fresh clarity. Breaks can be powerful if we return with renewed focus.
Subscribe Our Newsletter
Sign up today and get the Canva Course Starter Pack Freebie, plus access to my free newsletter filled with tips and inspiration. You can unsubscribe anytime, and you’ll find all the details in our Privacy Policy.