Our Dreams In Progress

Welcome to my personal space, where I write through change, learning, and healing in real time. Written by a 45-year-old mother of three, learning AI, online systems, and how to stay sane and healthy, one honest step at a time.

I’ve Tried It All: Learning from Failure in My 40s

Elle Suhardi

November 3, 2025

My Journey to $100k

A story about learning from failure in your 40s*

To be honest, learning from failure in your 40s feels like a lifelong marathon. I’ve tried it all: traditional businesses, Amazon FBA, MLMs, and more online courses than I can count. I’ve been hopeful, disappointed, motivated, burned out, and back again. While part of me still feels embarrassed about some of my choices, another part of me knows this: I’m a lifelong learner.

I’ve made mistakes, procrastinated, and and given up too easily at times. But I’m done hiding, and I’m done feeling ashamed because all those failures were lessons that led me here. Now in my 40s, as I work hard to earn enough to support the lifestyle I want for my family, I’ve decided: no more guilt. I’m choosing growth instead.

Yes, I could save more, cut expenses, and live more frugally, but that’s not the solution for me. I will make responsible adjustments where needed, but ultimately I’m learning how to earn more. That’s my mindset now: hopeful, determined, and unashamedly committed to living fully.

How It All Began

A little background: I grew up in a comfortable household; both parents had successful careers. I’ve been an entrepreneur all my adult life, not by choice exactly, but because my parents asked me to help set up a family business after I graduated. At the time, they said it was for their retirement, but in reality, they were going through a difficult marriage and wanted me home. My siblings were studying abroad, and I had just finished university with dreams of becoming a banker like my father. Internship in Singapore or London with a glass‐office skyline in mind.

But that summer I was called home suddenly. My parents wanted to start a flower shop. I knew nothing about running a business, but I said yes. That “yes” became my first real career. Looking back now, that experience shaped everything about how I see work, creativity, and risk.

The First Chapter: Building from Scratch

That flower shop became my life. I taught myself floristry, built a floral style, and worked hard. This is where I started the love for flowers (you’ll see evidence of it in my pictures!). It took years. Through weddings, events, and word-of-mouth. In the first decade I learned to hire the right staff and attract better-paying clients. I expanded tailoring service, food stall, self-taught, fuelled by curiosity and courage. Those early years gave me undeniable proof: I could make money from my own ideas.

For a while it worked. My businesses paid bills, funded travel, and gave my family the lifestyle I was used to.

Then came decade two, my “big project” years, and that’s when things got messy. We grew our family with IVF help. I also took on something too large and too risky; it crashed hard. I lost a lot of money, a huge debt I’m still paying off. But I kept what I could and continued running my remaining businesses. They supported my family, paid for private education, and allowed the home we have now.

I seldom talk about that period. The hurt. The loss. But writing about it now brings memories I’ve avoided for years. One day I’ll unpack it fully. I’m grateful that even in the hardest times, I kept moving.

Loss, Change, and Learning to Begin Again

Then came COVID. Business slowed. Soon after, I lost my beloved brother to sudden illness. It broke something in me. The years that followed were heavy emotionally, financially, and mentally. Sales halved. Savings drained covering expenses. For the first time, I realized I couldn’t rely on the old ways of doing business. The world had shifted online and so did I.

So I did what I always do: I started learning again. I took courses on Amazon FBA first. Thousands of dollars. I learned a lot, but it wasn’t for me. My coach wasn’t as supportive. The system required investment in stock and ads. But I don’t regret it: it opened my eyes to what’s possible online: global business, U.S. banking, and borderless income. That curiosity changed everything.

Then came dropshipping and social-media money-making courses. Promises of earning thousands from your phone. I believed it. I spent more, optimistically thinking I’d recoup and more. But the real lesson? It took time, patience, and consistency. I’d get excited, start strong, then lose motivation when things didn’t move fast enough.

Even through all that trial and error, I learned.

The Long List of Tries

I’ve joined MLMs that cost friendships. Bought courses promising instant success. Spent sleepless nights on business models I barely understood.

Every time I started over, I told myself: “This might be the one.”

And each time it wasn’t, I felt embarrassed, especially towards my husband, my biggest supporter. He stayed with me through every rise and fall and never made me feel small. That kind of love gives strength.

Looking back, every experience taught me something:

MLMs taught boundaries.

Amazon taught structure and systems.

Dropshipping taught marketing.

And AI, my newest love, taught clarity and confidence.

Most importantly, they taught me: I am the common denominator. If something didn’t work, it wasn’t always the business model. Sometimes it was my lack of consistency and grit. That’s a truth I can finally admit without shame.

The Turning Point

Somewhere in the middle of all that failure, something shifted. I realised I wasn’t failing, I was learning. Every mistake became part of my data showing me what doesn’t work for me.

Then I started using tools like ChatGPT. Things clicked. For the first time I could organize ideas, research properly, and bring structure to creativity. AI became my quiet coach, patient, and ready. So much value for USD $20/month vs. thousands I spent.

Then the breakthrough: I registered my U.S. LLC, opened a U.S. business bank account. Doors opened Stripe, PayPal, global opportunities. I documented my journey and started “Our Dreams In Progress.” I finally felt capable again.

I’m still at my lowest financially, but mentally I’ve never been stronger. I’ve accepted that the low point is also the turning point, the place where faith meets action. I haven’t shaken the shame completely, but I’ve learned kindness. I forgive old me for mistakes. I’m determined now more than ever to move forward not just for me, but for my family.

Because life doesn’t need to be complicated. It’s about caring for people you love and finding ways to keep going.

Why I Refuse to Give Up

It would be easier to give up or live small. But that’s not me. I made a choice to expand instead: to earn more, learn more, and build a life that feels abundant again, not chasing luxury, but freedom, stability, and peace.

Money for me isn’t things. It’s options—the ability to give my kids better experiences, to travel, to give generously, and to live life fully. The bills are constant, and the pressure is real but my faith keeps me grounded. God has shown up in ways I can’t explain, and I hold on to that daily.

This time, I’m doing things differently:

I’m not giving up when things get hard.

I’m learning before spending.

I’m focusing on systems, not luck.

I’m documenting everything, because my journey is my proof.

And this time, I know it will work.

Lessons I’m Taking Forward

After trying it all, here are the lessons that truly matter:

Don’t give up. Every try brings you closer to what will work.
Failure is data. It’s feedback, not defeat.
Your dreams are still possible, even in your 40s, even with debt, even when people doubt you.

If I could tell younger me anything, I’d say, “Stop chasing shiny things.” What’s real is quiet consistency, family love, and the peace that comes when you finally trust yourself. I was admittedly irresponsible with money because I was used to multiple income sources. When my businesses failed, I was left with huge bills I didn’t expect.

Today I approach learning differently: I filter what I consume. I no longer chase every trend. I take my time, apply what fits, and move one small step at a time.

To every woman reading this, especially those in their 40s who feel behind please hear this: You are not behind. You are exactly where you need to be.

AI and the digital world are changing everything we know about business, and it’s not too late to start. Don’t let fear or pride hold you back. Embrace the tools, stay open, and learn loudly. The only mistake is not trying.

There are days I still feel scared. But then I remind myself, I’ve survived worse. Every business I built, every mistake I made, every debt I’ve paid, it brought me here, to this chapter of learning, rebuilding, believing again.

My story isn’t about failure. It’s about faith in progress. So to anyone reading this who’s trying again (for the fifth, tenth, or fiftieth time):

Don’t be ashamed of your journey.

Don’t hide your lessons.

And don’t give up on your dream, it might be one more try away.

“I am allowed to learn loudly. Failure is not the end; it’s my teacher.”

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

1. Is it too late to start a new business in your 40s?

A. Not at all. Many successful entrepreneurs start in their 40s and beyond. You bring wisdom, patience and emotional intelligence younger founders often lack.

2. How do I rebuild confidence after failing multiple times?

A. Start small. Review past wins, no matter how small. Surround yourself with support. Focus on progress, not perfection.

3. What’s the biggest lesson from trying multiple business models?

A. There’s no perfect model, only the one that fits your life and values. Consistency matters more than novelty.

4. How can AI tools like ChatGPT help someone restarting their business?

A. AI simplifies research, planning, writing and marketing. It provides structure and clarity so you can focus on creating, not guessing.

5. What mindset helps you keep going despite setbacks?

A. Faith, gratitude, and the belief that every setback is preparation. Progress over perfection—always.

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